Learn Through Quotations

“Divorce: The past tense of marriage.”

“Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.”

“The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.”

“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.”

“Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.”

“A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position.”

“My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.”

“I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.”

“A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.”

“I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late.”

“One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.”

“A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.”

“The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn't marry me.”

“Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.”

“The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.”

“To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart - about a finger's breadth - for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.”

“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.”

“Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work.”

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.”

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.”

“A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.”

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”

“Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night.”